


joyride

by jazspers



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Brief graphic descrption, M/M, mention of suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-14
Updated: 2013-07-14
Packaged: 2017-12-20 04:33:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/882983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jazspers/pseuds/jazspers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>shinji finds that dating an angel can have it's upsides too</p>
            </blockquote>





	joyride

**Author's Note:**

> based off this picture 
> 
> http://madokakijyou.tumblr.com/post/49924125078

Kaworu is an Angel.

Shinji knows this well. He understands that he and Kaworu are destined rivals; two sides of the same coin not allowed to coexist. The thought sometimes eats Shinji alive at night; until his heart pounds in his ears relentlessly and his eyes burn from the tears that fall freely down his cheeks.

But it has its upsides as well.

Tonight is a night where Shinji can forget the truth for a moment. In Kaworu’s arms he’s comfortable, and he allows the bars that are to separate the two of them collapse. His heart beats, but it’s exciting now, and Shinji digs his fingers tightly into the thin fabric on Kaworu’s back, watching the bright city lights fade as he’s lifted higher and higher into the atmosphere. Kaworu’s arms are cradling his body but he’s still a trembling puppy, and he looks up at Kaworu’s face with wide, beady eyes.

"Would you like to go back down?"

Kaworu asks the question with a sly smile. His hair is messy and falls in his face and he throws his head to the side to move it. When his eyes are clear, he stares into Shinji. The boy shakes his head vigorously, stuttering out fragments of sentences, none of which pieced together into a perfectly flowing sentence, but Kaworu understood all the same. He brings Shinji’s body closer to his own and feels Shinji’s heart against his chest as it pounds, desperately and fearfully, and he’s happy. He’s happy to hold Shinji in his arms, to whisk him away into the uninhabited night sky, and to make Shinji’s heart race so ecstatically.

Shinji watches the buildings below them as they shift around. People who crowd around him every day, suffocating him with their existences, seem so far away here, and he feels his body relax as Kaworu continues flying around the night sky. He’s stopped shaking now and he’s allowed his body to go limp in Kaworu’s arms while he soaks in the beauty of the yellow, green, and red twisting and turning against the darkness. When he looks away, he sees the stars burning larger than he’s ever seen, and he holds one hand tighter Kaworu’s back as he reaches the other one out. His shaking fist reluctantly unfurls and he stretches his fingers until the muscles ache, and he swears that they just barely grazed past a star.

Kaworu laughs and Shinji pouts and all Kaworu has to do is press his lips against Shinji’s cheek and Shinji forgets any sour feelings he holds in his heart. His face burns against the cool wind nipping at his cheeks and though it’s cold enough to make the hairs on his neck stand on edge, he feels warm. With his body curled against Kaworu’s he feels light, and the wind whipping through his ears rocks him like a gentle lullaby.

There’s a skyscraper nearby that catches Kaworu’s glance and he lands atop it, setting Shinji’s feet gently on the surface. The two of them soak in their surroundings, Kaworu more concerned with the moon glowing in the distance while Shinji listens intently to the midnight traffic of Tokyo-3. Car horns and buzzing machinery and the small voices of thousands of people blend together from where Shinji stands it drones subtly below him. He takes a look at the distance between him and the ground and at the people who barely look the size of insects walking below him. He looks at the streetlight directly below him and feels a knot form in his stomach as his mind begins to dig through the shadows and his thoughts start to tread in the mud.

"Do you think a fall from here would kill me?" “Of course it would." “How long do you think the pain would last?" “Not of a second if you hit your head." “Wouldn’t that frighten the people below?" “Nah, they’ll probably walk right on by the chunks of bone and gore you’ll leave splattered across the pavement."

His stomach lurches and he chokes down the bile that begins to form in his throat as his thoughts grow morbid and bleak. He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, letting his bad thoughts escape with the air. Kaworu places a hand on his shoulder and Shinji jumps, startled.

"Were you thinking of jumping?"

He asks the question honestly, despite being well aware of the answer. Shinji can’t bring himself to confirm or deny it so he gulps nervously and bites him lip, refusing to meet Kaworu’s concerned gaze. He feels guilty now, a knot forming in his throat that makes his entire body tremble.

"Why don’t you?"

Shinji jerks his head up, eyes wide with surprise in fear.

"You…you want me to…jump?"

"Sure." There’s a smile on Kaworu’s face that digs a hole in Shinji’s heart. “It seems exciting. Why not try it?"

"Because I’d die!" Shinji’s voice cracks as he screams, pointing at the distance between then and the pavement below. A fair seven stories or so, Shinji figures, and he knows he’s already teetering on the edge as Kaworu’s face stays solemn.

"No you won’t."

"How would I not fucking die from that!?"

Shinji grabs the front of Kaworu’s shirt and pulls him closer. A futile attempt at being threatening, he knows, but the anger welling up inside of him prevents him from caring.

"Because I’ll catch you."

Shinji freezes. Kaworu doesn’t change. The words take a moment to settle into Shinji’s brain and before he realizes it he’s crying. It hits him all at once and he buries his face into Kaworu’s shirt, just barely managing to speak. Kaworu wraps his arms around Shinji’s shoulders as he cries, waiting with a small smile until Shinji gathers himself enough to speak.

"Would you…really…catch me…."

He can barely speak above a whisper but Kaworu hears him loud and clear and nuzzles his head into Shinji’s neck with a contented sigh.

"Of course. I’ll always catch you."


End file.
